It's that time of year...

Most would think I'm refering to Spring. When the trees start to bloom & weather turns warmer. You wake to the birds chirping in the early morning. (I tricked you with the pic) In this case, I'm refering to surgery. Because last year at this time I was preparing myself for the unthinkable surgery. The surgery that most would think would strip you of your womanhood. When I was told I had breast cancer, there was never a doubt that I wanted them gone. Not just one, but both. They had betrayed my body. If one was filled with disease, it would only be a matter of time before the other one would soon follow. They were partners in crime and they had to be dealt with.

Almost one year later, when I'm faced with getting them back, I've realized that I may have lost both breasts, but I was never in danger of losing my womanhood. I feel more like a woman than ever before. Maybe because my husband has never made me feel like anything less. Maybe because he still looks at me and loves me like my appearance hasn't changed. Maybe because my children can come in to the bathroom while I'm relaxing in the tub & sit there & talk to me as if the two scars across my chest aren't there. And they can joke with me about how their boobies are bigger than mine.

Last year at this time, I took control of my body and the disease that tried to take it over. I went under knowing that when I woke up there would be a room full of people waiting for my reaction. Wanting to comfort me in whatever way they could. Waiting to see if I really had lost my womanhood. One year later, I'm faced with one more surgery. The surgery that for those who don't know me will "give her back her womanhood". My plastic surgeon told me this week that after I receive clean scans in April (notice that I didn't say "if" I receive clear scans, but WHEN), he would like to go ahead with the reconstruction...as in next month...as in a few weeks! I'm moving forward with the bilateral TRAM with Dr. Lyle. I've harvested enough skin in my abdomen (fat) to make some breasts & get a tummy tuck as an added bonus! Finally, a surgery worth the pain! Although I honestly don't feel the need to get new breasts, I'm looking forward to a "Welcome the TaTa's" party!