3 Month Milestone

I didn't write anything about "it" over the weekend because for the first time, I wanted to forget all about cancer.

On Friday, I had my 3 month scans. A MUGA scan which is done to make sure the Herceptin isn't doing further damage to my heart, a CT of the chest, abdomen and pelvic area, and an MRI of the liver.

They immediately recognize me when they come to get me from the waiting area at Western Wake Hospital. Jay is the one who knows exactly which vein won't collapse when he inserts the IV. He's also the one who talks about OU football (or basketball) while he takes pics of my heart. Kaye is always the one who always greets me with a hug when delivering two bottles of the nasty contrast. She then holds my hand while she puts me in the CT machine. But the MRI room is different. It's dark, cold, loud and extremely claustrophobic. I couldn't even tell you if it's the same nurses/technicians in that room every time I'm there, because I think I block the whole experience from my memory.

On Friday, I prepared myself for that room. I brough a Smashing Pumpkins CD to listen to while the machine screeched all around me. I held my breath when told to do so. I was perfectly still. And then they came on at the very end and started with the questions. "Where exactly was the lesion?" "Do you remember its size?" "Did the surgeon get it all?" Before I knew it, there were tears streaming down my cheeks. All I could imagine was that they had found something and were confirming that it was a new lesion. I layed there for another few minutes in silence while I knew the doctor was taking a look to make sure they had gotten all the pics they needed. Then they came in and rolled me out...& didn't say a word to me. They removed the IV and sent me to change. Before I knew it, blood was pouring down my hand and dripping on to the floor. They hadn't applied enough pressure when removing my IV. By the time I got back out to the waiting area where Terry was, I had blood all over me and was pale as a ghost. I've never been happier to have his arms wrap around me. He tried to tell me that all the questions were normal and it was probably someone new who didn't know my history. I didn't listen......well, I should have. I received the call today & I have no signs of cancer. The chest wall, abdomen & pelvis are all clear. My heart is stronger than it was 3 months ago. And the liver? The scar tissue is gone and there is no sign that cancer ever struck the vital organ. She explained that it's likely that they asked so many questions because they couldn't find any evidence of disease. It all miraculously disappeared.

I may have wanted to forget all about cancer over the weekend, but someone else didn't forget. He's once again restored my faith while He continues to use my body to prove that He can perform miracles. Never give up, my friends. Never give up.